Some of the characteristics of self-sabotaging behaviors are as follows: Comparing yourself to others; having unrealistic expectations; perfectionism; People-pleasing; unfocused anger; getting into power struggles; having a fear of commitment, fear of rejection and/or abandonment; focusing on the negatives, like the “what ifs,” needing to be in control, and/or constantly worrying; feeling unworthy and/or constantly making excuses why you can’t change; Feeling impatient and wanting quick results; always needing others validation and/or approval.
All self-defeating behaviors lead down the road to unhappiness and never feeling good enough. They create their own distorting thinking which only makes us feel worse about ourselves and again we can easily slip into depression. Taking back the power of your positive, more realistic thoughts and learning how to silence the distorting thinking is the goal of stopping your self-defeating behaviors. The MIND does lie to us and if it is true “we are what we think” then it is probably time for you to learn how to change your thinking.